Damn, Canadians
by Clear-Colors
Summary: 2p France is a tough sadistic smoking scraggly blonde hairball, that was born with worn out patience and a bad attitude to match. Enter, Canada, who flips his world upside down! might be a bit ooc, M for smexy time latter on and some suggestive dialog. ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** **okay, i have very recently become obsessed with 2p hetalia, it's the reason i created my account in the first place. i noticed all the 2p AmeriCan and 2p UkUs and 2p Germitly and even 2p Spamano! but what the hell? i cant get so bad, that i decided to write them myself! first, im doing this FranaCan (Canada and 2p France) then i might do another one with France and 2p Canada... it will work! (sorry for the long authors note! -/-)**

*Francois*

i was sitting in another damn bar. not that the bar itself was shitty enough to piss me off, but the fucking idiots who dragged me out here make me a bit suicidal.

i was perfectly content spending my Saturday night at home alone smoking and getting drunk or at a bar alone smoking and getting drunk. however, because it was the fourth of July and America was celebrating the anniversary of his independence, the retard and his 1p felt the urge to drag me out to this stupid bar with a dozen other countries and their 1p selves it was packed, i hate packed places. it was hot, i hate hot places. and everyone was either fighting, laughing, or just generally getting on my damn nerves.

my own 1p was, as he always was, harassing some poor girl (or if it was a guy, he wouldn't care) who was serving him and his stupid friends another round of beers. both Americas were on stage, doing karaoke to their national anthem. Matt, Oliver, and the albino ex-nation were in an argument of some kind. and everyone else was doing things too un noteworthy and stupid for me to even bother acknowledging.

all in all, i was getting very pissed off. i took a long drag of the cigaret that the bar keep tried to tell me to smoke outside, then flicked my finger, letting the ashes fall into the beer i stopped drinking a while ago.

"Franny~!" i hear my least favorite moron call coming closer to me. i don't even turn around as Olive's arms circle my neck. "Franny! will you please tell Gilbert and Matt that animals don't talk to people! Tell them it's impossible, won't you Franny?" he coos in my ear with a sugary sweet voice, laced with evil intent.

Oliver is such a fucking freak!

i still don't turn around as i use his face as an ash tray, putting out my half smoked cigaret out on his cheek. "owww, Franny you're so mean..."he wines, the smile still evident in his voice, but i'm sure he's tearing up from the pain.

now, thoroughly annoyed, i get up and start for the exit. "Come on, Fran, don't leave already!" Matt shouts after me.

"Don't call me Fran or Franny." i grumble through gritted teeth. an hour and a half with morons is about all i can take, but really, since Allen is my ride, i cant go anywhere. So i have every intention of storming out to have a few more smokes out back until this whole fucking mess is over. i push the door open with a little more force than is necessary, no big deal.

except it was a big deal! because on the ground out side, clenching his forehead from under a winter hat, was Canada. "owww..." he mumbles meekly, siting flat on his ass. "That hurt" he states, before looking up at me with those big sparkling purple eyes.

Shit, why'd it have to be Matt's adorable little 2p? "damn, my bad." i grumble nervously." he looks taken back, but then smiles.

"it's okay, i'm fine!" he says, as he takes the hand i extended to him and stands up.

Shit shit shit, he's being cute! "well, next time don't be in my fucking way when i'm opening doors, dumb ass!"

nailed it!

Canada looks, frightened, and begins stuttering an apology for me slamming the door in his face when i hear those two retards behind me. "HEY! Frann, don't yell at my Mattie because your an inconsiderate dick!"

i heave a sigh as Matt wraps a protective arm around said 1p. "that's right," Oliver says a little more calm, "Mathew is untainted... don't corrupt his innocence!" the way he said it made us all shiver.

"OMG, Mattie your bleeding little bro! did these bad guys hurt you? the hero will save you!" America yells, jumping off the stage and running twords us to examine the slight bruise on Canada's forehead.

he's still going on and on about the tiny cut when i decide this is the perfect time to get the hell out of there. i open the door even harder this time, and slip into the fridge cold of the night. i looking back to shut the door i see Francis hugging on Mathew, and i suddenly get the urge to break both his arms off. but i settle for taking a seat on the curb and lighting another cigaret to calm me (A/N don't smoke beiy, it gives you cancer! Francois can do it cause he's a nation and supper durable beiy!).

for a good ten minutes or so, i sit in peace with my thoughts of how much i hate everyone, especially Francis. then, i suddenly have company. i swerve my head slightly to glare at what ever asshole disturbed my peace. anger quickly dissipates and turns to nervous shock when i see Canada smile at me.

"mind if i join you?" he ask, taking a seat beside me. i don't (cant) say anything, and instead turn away; taking an especially long puff of nicotine into my lungs (A/N cancer beiy!) and exhaling it slowly into the night, it's quiet.

"...am i...bothering you?" he ask me, breaking through the awkward silence. i turn to him with my most deadly 'fuck off' glare.

"no your not, because I've had the biggest most fucking embarrassing crush on you for the past 200 years or so! and i'm also really sorry for the door thing earlier, and what i said. you were just being too damn cute and i got fucking flustered, you damn cute bastard!"

...

or at least I'd like to say something to that effect. instead i mumble/growl, "I hate innocents." and stomp out my smoke.

"sorry." he says lowering his head with an adorable blush. i sigh, why the hell is he so alluring.

i curse in french then stand. "go back to the party, kid. before you catch a cold or something..." i slowly turn my head in what i hope is a uncaring manner, back twords the bar. a light jolt of shock flashes through me when i see eight sets of eyes peering out the large window.

half of them, namely Matt, glare intensely at me.

they clumsily try to close the curtain when they notice me noticing them, tearing it down in their haste. Matt continues to glare as the other fumble to rehang the cloth.

"oh," the angel- i mean Canada hums, stepping up beside me, "i think they're watching us." you think? these guys don't trust me to keep a cactus alive, why would they ever leave their beloved Mathew alone with me? said nation giggles adorably beside me.

i'm reaching to light another cigaret when i see Matt look me straight in the eye make a fist and pat his arm muscle.

DID HE JUST THREATEN ME!? that's it! fuck all those bastards to hell! i'm having my way with this unwittingly sexy little vixen to night!

flipping Matt and the rest of those fuckers the (gill)bird, i grab Canada's arm and drag him away.

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**Aaaaaaaand! chapter one is completed beiy! this is only going to be maybe three or four chapters long beiy, but whatever. the next chapter will be in Canada's point of view, and then smexy time in chapter three will be from Francois beiy. don't forget to comment share favorite, whatever beiy. but i am in desperate need of reviews beiy! I need some kind of structure in life beiy... just tell me what you'd like to see next! tootles, loves ;3 beiy!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

***Matthew***

To say that things were taking an unexpected turn that night would be a severe understatement.

it was the forth of July, and being Alfred's "adorable baby brother" i pretty much had no choice but to attend. i'm a little late because of my cars tendency to stall in the cold (why would he ever celebrate his _American_ Independence in some where freezing like _Greenland_?). but what i wasn't expecting when i got there was Francois.

i had noticed him around before; who could help it? he was, in a word, a reject. not in the traditional, teenage type way. but in a "i simply can't be bothered to care about anything" way. he had wild blond hair and would never be seen with out a cigaret between his smooth lips above that sexy stubble and those deep blue eyes that i could get lost and wander endlessly in...

what was i saying? oh right, so we never actually had any political ties.

not that a country like 2p France would ever tie down or associate with anyone other than maybe England and his own self. he was distant and rough in a "fuck off" type way. but now, here we are, in the chilly Greenland July. him holding on to my arm as my feet move onward to some unknown destination. i suddenly look, up to see him looking at me expectantly. i blink, once... twice. he's still just waiting. "wha?" i ask, tilting my head slightly in question.

"the keys." he states, motioning to my car that i just realized we were next to.

"oh! a, umm, of course!" i stutter, fumbling around in my pockets for said car keys. he rolls his eyes, and takes the keys from my gloved hands. he looks at me, as if contemplating, before he shakes of his doubts and clicks the car unlocked. i go to the passenger side and take a breath as he slides in through the other door. Francois starts the ignition, and we pull off.

***time skip***

**"**you always let people kidnap you so easily?" i hear him mumble the question more to the road before us than to me, after close to eight minutes (not that i was counting!) of silent driving.

"only the cute ones..." i breath the words out before i can stop them from leaving my mouth. once my brain processes what i just uttered, my and shoots up to cover my mouth. the car swerves a bit and i almost think i see a slight blush in his cheeks before Francois recompose himself. but this time, not to the stoic grouch but with an actual sight of emotion besides pissed off (is that an emotion?) he turns to me, a slight smirk, on his face and laughs. "your pretty funny, kid... were are we going?"

the last part surprises me even more than the laugh. "where? i don't know, _your _driving!" i yell at him. he just laughs again. "well your the one who let me kidnap them!" he retorts, reaching for his smokes in his pocket.

Touche.

So now with light conversation, we continue down the road. I definitely wasn't expecting Francois!

***time skip***

we pull up to the window of what appears to be a drive through. "what will you have, sir?" the teenager at the window requires sarcastically, typing on his phone. Francois tells him his order, but when he's done the kid is still on his phone. after a few minutes he looks up at us. "Wait, what did you want, pops?" he laughs.

i hear Francois grit his teeth. he takes his cigaret slowly out his mouth, and flicks the ashes on the space between him and the clerk. he then proceeds to repeat his order, snubbing out his smoke on the kids hand as he speaks. "i said, you idiot, i want the number 8, 24 hour breakfast special. with twelve pancakes and extra syrup packets! did you hear me that time, huh, punk,?"

Francois glares, and i watch as the boy nods fiercely, crying and dropping his precious phone in an attempt to escape. when France eases up, he flies to the back, to get our order.

"you sure know how to get things done." i say in numb shock. his face, like he forgot he was with me in the car makes me laugh off the scene i just witnessed.

"umm, yeah." he says scratching the back, of his scraggly main, "it's just, kids like that, really fucking piss me off." he almost sounds embarrassed. i laugh until our food arrives, another teenager, with a bright orange carrot top, nervously hands it over. "I'm so sorry about the new guy, , sir. Enjoy your evening."

Francois grunts "what ever, Kelly." and drives off.

"you must go there often." i state as road signs wiz past the closed windows.

"i suppose... it's a political thing with Greenland, actually." he tells me, the car slows down and at first i suppose, he's noted the speed limit. "What's going on?" He then ask, suspiciously, as the car comes to a sudden halt. i sigh. how could i forget that my car hates me almost as much as it hates driving, and cold weather?

"It hates driving me around in the cold, besides home..." i mumble, insert face-palm here! I'm such a dooffus!

"What ever." he states, breaking the silence that had settled. "my vacation home is only a few blocks around that bend, let's walk, it." with out another word, he hops out the car and i watch his receding figure. There's nothing i can do but run to catch up with him.

it's gotten colder out side, and suddenly i miss the secure warmth of the car. before i know it, a pair of arms circle around me protectively. "you looked about ready to freeze to death." Francois grumbles when i look, up at him questioningly.

This time, i'm sure i see him blush.

"you know, you really are nothing like Francis...or how i thought you'd be. i'm glad!" i tell him, getting familiar with the feel of his touch.

*CRACK! BOOM BOOM!CRACK!*

We both look up, startled at the inky black, as it lights up with fire works. we stand there for a while, just to appreciate the moment. i turn in his arms, wrap my own limbs around his neck, and kiss his cheek. "Happy 4th of July, Francois." i state with a smile. his eyes go wide for a split second, before lifting me bridal style and running in the direction of his house with the biggest most devious grin I've ever seen.

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**And that's it for chapter two! love to all my supporters! the next chapter is xxx smut, the reason for my M rating. read at your own risk, i'm warning you now! don't get grossed out when i update tomorro~w**!


	3. Chapter 3

***Francois***

that was it! i was over my limit the second his words made me swerve the car and almost kill us both. but he simply WAS NOT done being cute! he talked and laughed with me, didn't ridicule me, trusted me, didn't run away or call me crazy when i hurt the dumb ass kid who was pissing me off.

He smiled and laughed in that adorable giggling way; then he kissed me! Albeit, a short peck, and on the cheek. but think, about it. He, the perfect angel that he is, blessed me of all people with such a beautiful gift. and as i slowly bring my hand to touch the warmth he left behind, i know, i'm only human. in a fraction of a second, i swoop him up in my arms and run home.

Once there, i waist no time throwing Mathew on my bed and my shirt across the room. he looks startled for a second, but then pulls me down on top of him and starts kissing me... HARD! i comply, exploring the warm cavern of his mouth with my tongue. he tasted like maple syrup, which was a sharp contrast to the bitter taste of nicotine i was sure he was receiving from my own mouth.

i waist no time. undoing my belt then unbuttoning his shirt with out ever breaking from the heated kiss. finally, with both of us sufficiently stripped, i lay him back down gently, and check that this is what he really wants. i could tell, if not from his growing hard on, then from his lust hazed eyes that he wanted this as much as i did.

i take my hand and slowly run it up his length experimentally. he shudders in pleasure, gripping the bed sheets around us. holly hell is this kid sensitive! my every simple touch seems to push him to the brink! how will he handle me doing this?

With that, i take a finger, and push it into his entrance. i may not be the gentlest person in the world, but i didn't think i was so rough to get such confusedly horrified yelp from him. he quivers under me, before spreading his hips in an attempt to ease my access. his eyes urged me to continue. i responded by inserting another digit in, scissoring at a steady pace. he winces as i add a third and looks close to tears. i pull my fingers out and kiss his forehead (i can get a little sentimental at times...)

"Lube?" he question and i make my way over to the right drawer. there's a little clear bottle, unopened. i didn't take him for much of a masturbater, but did he never find self comfort at night? he did seem overly sensitive, and almost scared if all his fidgeting was anything to go by. He was unusually nervous for someone about to have the best sex of his life...

It all suddenly made sense in my mind: Matthew is a virgin; not for much longer!

i looked back, quickly at the amazing gift, waiting and ready on my bed; my heart fluttered (i know that shit sounds gay, but shut the fuck, up!) at the thought of me being the first to invade his vital regions. I grinned maliciously and licked my lips. coating my own shaf in the clear lube, i positioned myself at the smaller nations entrance. And...AND! fireworks went off. both outside the window and in my head.

"shit... fucking...tight!" i grumbled. the slight grimace of pain on Mattie's face, appealing to my sadistic side and turning me on even more. Canada moaned under me as i began to move in and out of him; slowly at first, then picking up momentum. he couldn't stop moaning quivering and arching in pleasure, that sight alone was sending me to cum.

"humph-Auuu~ugh! he moans out, when i hit what i assume is his sweet spot. i focus all my attention on that one spot now. his inner walls clenching tighter, sending waves of pleasure through me. and when i hear him stutter out, "I-I'm g-gonna'!" i quickly bring my hand to his front to hold the base of his penis and prevent any such release.

"F-FRANCOIS!" he gasp.

i go faster and faster. sometimes pulling out completely before slamming back, into him. i hum gently in his ear and kiss his neck. he's desperate now, on the brink, of tears. "p...p-please...?" he breathes. the word puts me in ecstasy! what i wouldn't do to hear those sweet lips part to whisper it longingly in my ear over and fucking over again! "please please please!" he begs me. and now i just can't take this shit anymore.

i release every drop of cum i posses in to his ass, dropping my hand so he can do the same on both our chest. with a final moan, he falls beside me on the bed.

it's quiet, the fire work, on the other side of the window finally stopping. Canada shifts. for a second i'm washed over with the fear that he's getting up and leaving. But fear dissipates as his tiny body moves in closer to me with a content sigh. my arm falls around his shoulders holding him closer to me.

"i love the fourth of July. the fire works are beautiful." he tells me with a yawn.

i hesitate. I'm about to say some real pansy ass shit, I might end up regretting tomorrow morning. "and i love you..." i inform him casually, resting my chin on his head.

Mathew chuckles, "I figured as much." he grinned into the pillow, rolling his eye before closing them in favor of sleep and i fall asleep with a stupid fucking smile.

**THE END**(maybe...)

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Well, that's the official ending beiy. i might add a morning after piece depending on what you all think. beiy hope it was okay. i was actually working on three different fics at the same time... beiy but okay. review! please? Lo~ve! (Did some editing beiy)


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